Laparoscopy revealed all

It all started back in May
when I felt like I was to die
my stomach hurt and period stopped
all I wanted to do was cry

The pain began to hurt more
each and every day
period just wouldn’t happen
on this month of May

Then came June, my pain was still there
no sign of any blood just abdonamol pain
beginning to feel weak, not able to do much
my mum took me to hospital, giving me too much strain

An ultrasound revealed an ovarian cyst
got told my chances of having kids are low
and that my chances of a miscarriage is high
what was I to do I had nothing to show

Then came July a period finally happen
as painful as it was it reveled blood clots
got told it was nothing and to ignore what was there
but who was they to call the shots

August brought on more pain,
my stomach began to hurt too
my body became even weaker
especially when I went to the loo

September was coming closer, to my operation
laparoscopy was my only option even though I am young
as they didn’t know what to do and my pain wasn’t going
I even had slight pain in my left lung

27th October my operation day
I was nervous and shaking
not knowing the news
I didn’t feel like waking

But around 3:20 pm on this cold day
they diagnosed me with endometriosis I thought it was a  lie
there are blood clots are situated in my womb
all I wanted to do was cry


They told me my chances of keeping this baby
wasn’t going to happen anyway
and I said this baby? Nurse what happened
and she said miscarriage is very common and you had to pay

A big blood clot situated in your womb
caused the baby to die
the baby wouldn’t have survived
no matter how much we try

‘You told me I can’t get pregnant
and to ignore the pain I was having’
we didn’t know what to do but we have a feeling
that the miscarriage was caused by driving

I’m sorry to say this but you lost the baby
during your operation the fetus was removed
and the remainder was a blood clot
all you need now is food

They carried on as if nothing had happened
we lost a baby due to them telling me to ignore
the blood clots from my period few months before
if they payed attention this wouldn’t have happened

And to this day I remain in pain still
and feel empty inside knowing I lost a child
at 4 weeks pregnant I lost what I could have kept
even though the pain I have is mild

Misscarriage happens to all
but I was at more risk they told me
but I didn’t want to believe them
even as it came to week three

So I continue to wait for the next operation
which will reveal more and more
what can I do to cope and live
and how can I be so sure

That this next operation will reveal
more clots inside my womb that small
and the pain will go away
with each and every call

By Stacey Lynch 2008